Do you want to purchase High on Life and the High on Knife DLC mission, but prefer not to purchase them separately? What if you could buy them all at once, in a kind of combined package? Does this calm you down a little? Everything fine now? You scared us a little. But now that we've explained the package situation, you look a lot better. We can continue?

If you don't know what you're getting into, here's the thing: High on Life is an action-packed comedy/adventure FPS with crazy talking guns, an alien drug cartel selling humans on the black market, and an impressive array of beautiful and gloomy places to visit. Do you want to buy something from a guy in a dark alley? Do you want to tell construction workers that their father will never love them? Want to rescue a talking knife from a gang of ant clones? You can do ALL of this on High on Life, trust me. And much more. I didn't even mention a lot of other things you can do.

And then, we have High on Knife, the juicy DLC centered on the talking knife I mentioned earlier, Knifey. His name is Knifey and this is his big adventure. He'll discover all about the mysterious(?) and dark(?) secrets of his past as you take him and Harper, a new talking weapon, to a salty planet full of dying slugs. There, you might meet a giant guy, race against slow-as-hell slugs or try to beat the Peroxosquash record using B.A.L.L., another standard talking weapon. We really packed this DLC with new things, believe me. And I didn't even mention the scary commercial warehouse, full of parasites and run by a ruthless and monstrous president.

I should also mention that this pack features a stellar cast of humorous voice actors who bring back the fun in things like “wouldn’t it be suuuuper funny if you bought this pack right now?”. We brought in JB Smoove, Tim Robinson, Betsy Sodaro, Sarah Sherman, Michael Cusack, Gabourey Sidibe and many others, who are now at me for not mentioning their names, but hey, I have a word limit to meet. It's not possible to put all the names here. It's the store's fault. It's her fault, not ours. Buy the package now. It would be VERY smart of you to buy it now.

Highlights

• My goodness, High On Life and High on Knife together? In a cheap package? I'm inside!
• Name a game pack with so many talking weapons. I doubt. We kind of already dominate this market, friend. There aren't any talking weapons in Tears of the Kingdom, are there? That's what I thought.
• The only way to truly discover what this package has to offer is to buy it. Please. I'm saving up to buy a Miata.